The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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