Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
