Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
that's an acceptable place to lick
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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