East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
