was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
