y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
it hurts more in the daytime
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
