HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
