dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
