brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
