shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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