When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize