In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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