Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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