shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
