If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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