some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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