i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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