So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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