DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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