every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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