Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
