i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
