Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
