I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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