Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
