and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
