Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
