I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
