i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
