ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
