I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
