Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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