I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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