I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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