There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You took a bar mat shot.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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