I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
