i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
