A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
