found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
