he puts the penis in happiness.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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