Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
