I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
