tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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