big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
