you win again, gameday.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
