two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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