We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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