The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
