whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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