Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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