I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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