I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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