are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
