Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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