I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
No more Irish car bombs ever.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
40s are totally the cure
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
