I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
