I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
