Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
